Dragon Dentistry
All of our Dragon teeth are freshly and sustainably harvested by highly trained teams of Dragon Dentists, cruelty free.
Mostly.
Dragon Dentistry has been, according to a yearly poll in Dangerous Jobs magazine, the 3rd most dangerous job (the most dangerous being bomb disposal, the second is, in an ironic twist, being a reporter for Dangerous Jobs magazine, ) for the last ten years consecutively.
As a result it is not recommended that anyone without the proper training, equipment, and health insurance (presumably from Pelucidar or Canada) attempt any Dragon Dentistry.
Dragons go through one set of teeth approximately every 75 to 120 years, and while they live for many centuries this allows them to provide us with a never-ending supply of teeth and our dragon dentists with a never ending supply of adventurous work.
Most Dragons, similar to sharks and crocodiles in this regard, have several rows of teeth that are constantly shedding and regrowing! This is a perfect opportunity for dragon dentistry.
The more jocular Dragon Dentists are fond of exclaiming: If you kill a Dragon you get about 100 teeth... if you sign them up for a lifetime dental contract, and you get thousands!
Post harvest, the teeth are then sanitized and given to the finest Elven craftspersons (and other sentients, including but not limited to Gnomes, Hobbes, Humans, Goblins, Tuatha de Danann (Sidhe), and Hedgefolk. (In compliance with Fisheries and Wildlife Act of ‘74)) who lovingly and skillfully transform them into the beautiful objects you see before you.
Types and locations of the Dragons are closely guarded secrets, principally because Dragon poachers are the primary cause of the Dragons extinction in the current era, rather than the anecdotal "Charming Princes". The second, but less well known cause, is poor dental hygiene. Dragons are often found to be in a terrible state, both physically and emotionally, as a result of maiden bones, bits of broken armor, weapons, and siege machinery, having been caught in their teeth for extended periods of time, sometimes even decades, this detritus can be most distressing! Dragon Dentistry saves the Dragons from both difficult infections and unpredictable mood swings due to chronic pain.
Dragon dentists use rare historical documents and information gathered from other equally obscure sources to uncover dragon locations elsewhere in time, whereupon they visit these dragons and negotiate fair and equitable dental insurance contracts. The terms of these contracts can last for millennia, therefore they must be fulfilled by successive generations of Dragon Dentists. Dragon Dentistry is quite the hereditary profession. Occasionally the dragon dentists will return from their adventures with other interesting and useful artifacts such as unicorn horns and the like.
Dragon tooth weaponry is excellent when used against Vampires, Werewolves, creatures only harmed by magical weapons, and regenerating creatures, such as Trolls. Dragons have been known to hold their own against whole tribes of werewolves. The lycanthropes are unpleasantly surprised to find themselves unable to quickly heal wounds caused by Dragon teeth. Vampires being the strategic sort, often find the presence of a new Dragon a reason for an extended vacation. As such, these specialized tools are often found in the arsenal of the most discerning and disciplined monster hunters.
It is not recommended that Dragon teeth be used as weapons against Dragons themselves, as they can detect the presence of another dragon for several leagues, or against ghosts and spirits, due to the sheer unpredictability of such encounters, or the Fae, as there may be ancient non-aggression pacts made between these similarly long lived creatures and the Dragons, resulting in potentially unpleasant consequences.
The profits of these sales primarily go to two charitable organizations:
The Society to Repopulate the Future with Dragons
The Dragon Protection and Relocation program.
Thomas Nilhothrax Parcival D'Avies, Lord Williper, Viscount of Draiglingfordhampshirevillegatetonborough N.W.
Mystagogue second class,
Order of Saint Obvious.
Perspicientia tantum Oculus Volantes